I cried real tears about him today. Even he is not real – but the tears were. Hot, salty tears that left red welts on my cheeks.

I knew the day I found him. At least I thought I knew – I thought I knew what I needed. I was so broken that day. So sad. And he was there. But I cannot make him understand – and he can never know why I feel this way – I can never tell him.

So I discover that I was right – I did know – still know exactly what I need. And I cannot explain it propperly – and it will tear at me forever. And I don’t think I can ever talk to him again.